Why is Janice DICKenson Always So Pissy?

Let me tell you girlfriend. I met Miss Janice at a party earlier this year, and damn that girl is a bitch! I just walked up and said, "I almost don't want to approach you, because I'm scared you're gonna backslap me." She was like, "Oh no, Harry. I'm not a bitch at all. I just act that way for the TV." She said if she isn't actin' a fool that there's gonna be a thousand more girls trying to take her spot.

So we go on talking in the conversation, and the bitch just ups and walks away! I was like, "Where does she think she's going?" And someone told me she went back to the red carpet for something. But she left when I was right in the middle of a sentence! All I have to say is ... whoever you are, just own it, work it, be it. Don't be a bitch and say I'm not a bitch. If you're a bitch, be a proud bitch.

Oh shit. I asked my boss if I could curse on this thing, and he said, "Only when necessary." But so far all of this was necessary. I hope that's not going too far. I'm still learning the ropes around here. Oh fuck it. Whatever. Nobody fires a diva.